Dancing in the Darkness

I’m not bitter , I’m angry as hell!


I was watching an old Tyler Perry movie, I don’t remember the title and I didn’t watch to the end because I had to go out. But the little I watched, I want to share. Because today’s post title was taken from there.

She had been married to her attorney lawyer for 18 years. The man of her dreams. The man she adored. She left her family for him. Abandoned, actually. He put her mother in a home because she didn’t fit into his “American dream”. She practically changed everything about herself to please her husband. Sadly, after 18 years of marriage (without a child) he decides he has had enough of her and throws her out of their home. What was he thinking? What was his reason? He needed to bring his kids home. He said, and I quote, “It’s not fair to my boys that I always have to leave in the night to come home to you.” As usual, she couldn’t believe what was happening. Fast forward, she moved to stay with her grandmother and at a family party, she met the truck driver who saw her husband manhandle her that fateful night. In the course of arguing, the truck driver shouts that she’s just a bitter woman who’s going to let every man pay for what her husband has done to her. She looks at him in disbelief and retorts, “I’m not bitter, I’m mad as hell!” and walks off.

Now, just to be clear, this post title has this same phrase because there’s so much truth in it. More than I’m even willing to admit. This is not up because I’m upset that things ended with the Handsome Lawyer. OMG, I just realized, coincidence? LOL!

Feminism is considered a nasty word in Africa, hell, in most parts of the world. You’re either labelled as a man-hater or even a lesbian and sometimes, a witch. Yep, welcome to Africa.

I’m not going to bore you with the importance of feminism and what nots. I just want you to understand that both males and females are equal and should be treated as such.

Many have argued that feminism is obsolete because both men and women are still treated as equals in the world. However, some also believe that discriminations against women exist but sexists are gone. Sexists belong to the past, they say. Sexists are the thin-lipped men and women who look on as women are abused. Sexists are the educated university graduates who undermine the authority of female Students’ Representative Council (SRC) presidents. Sexists are the state officials who try as much as possible to remove prominent female state officials from office – the case of the Ghana’s Electoral Commissioner (EC) is an example. Among the many reasons given for her impeachment is that she’s disrespectful and arrogant. You picked my mind too. How does that even matter in managing an agency? Funny enough, some open-minded people see her as principled, willing to make the institution of Electoral Commission work but in our country women are not supposed to have a mind of their own? Ironically, the former EC, Afari Gyan was openly rude to politicians a number of times but was never impeached. What could be the difference? This time it’s a young woman giving orders. I daresay she has forgotten her place in the Ghanaian society, and this is just to “teach her a lesson?”

The manifestation of sexism has probably changed but the language is still the same. I don’t believe this anyway. Here’s the thing: many men still think it is their right to teach loud mouthed women a lesson anytime they forget their place usually by physically abusing them. Glass ceilings still exist, largely in many firms and corporations. Women are still blamed for being raped. Some female farmers in some parts of Ghana still find it difficult to buy land for the simple fact that they’re women. We still think that the idea of a female president is alien. “We are not ready for it”, we console ourselves.

Why do feminists even bother? Women are their own enemies. They’ll bring themselves down before men will even start their abuse. Of course, the many cultural abuses of women’s rights are mostly orchestrated by women. Widowhood rites, female genital mutilation, victim blaming, witch-hunting, all these are pioneered by fellow women. Why am I even screaming? Sexism has no sex. It is the woman who insults that young lady for standing up for herself. Or the university graduate on the second floor who thinks the only thing a woman has to offer is sex and food. Oh, and what about the university lecturer who keeps drumming into his students that women should be humble and take whatever treatment they get. They should accept their place. Period!

The issues are a lot. A lot!

I don’t know if I have made my point but I sure hope you get it.


Asiedua Yeboah © 2017


2 thoughts on “I’m not bitter , I’m angry as hell!

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